It's not your imagination, people. The city really does stink like a combination of holy hell and Splenda. Normally, I'd attribute said odor to the Ritz bar airing out after a long weekend, but based on the distribution patterns (see the article below), it seems as though this mysterious smell is more likely an act of bio-terrorism (from someone with a huge ass and a penchant for Taco Bell). Granted, the country has enough problems as is, but perhaps the new administration should consider the potentially disastrous (and terrorizing) effects of gassy foods on the well-being of the American populace.
Much like a real terrorist threat would dictate, I recently had to evacuate the F train thanks to someone's brilliant and thoughtful decision to pass wind in an overly-crowded car. Terrorism must be fought on all fronts - not just Osama bin Laden and Al-Qaeda, but also ass-terrorism. [Ed.: terrorassm?] This is serious stuff, you guys - it's not funny like abortions or the late stages of syphillis. Is there no one out there who is concerned with preserving our olfactory innocence?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/06/nyregion/06sweet.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
Also, that was my chair.
Finally a blog where I can truly express myself. Thank you I fart ny, lets hunt down those smelly assed assholes. I suggest someone invent the equivalent of a metal detector - but for farts instead of metal. Where to begin...hmmm...Jersey seems too easy. Staten Island and Roosevelt Island seem too obvious. Suggestions?
ReplyDeleteI heart Taco Bell...correction: I fart Taco Bell.
ReplyDeletei was once at vig bar and a fellow patron farted so obscenely that the entire bar flew into the winter air and evacuated. i've never been back since that dreadful night. the olfactory memory is scarred.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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